What does it mean to “be present”? How this phrase has changed over time and what we can do about it

I’m lucky that, as an English teacher, I’m exposed to books that cover a full spectrum of genres, styles, and subject matter. In one class, we just finished Thornton Wilder’s play Our Town. In another, we’re reading the non-fiction Present Shock by Douglas Rushkoff. Each provides a very different answer to this question: what does it mean to “be in the present,” or to “live in the moment”?

Our Town provides the more familiar definition: to savor each moment. To be actively aware of and engaged with your surroundings.

In the play, Emily dies during childbirth. Still in denial, she demands to revisit her past. Upon returning, she is saddened to find that nobody pays any attention to one another. Dead Emily, looking back on the scene, begs her mother, “Oh, Mama, just look at me one minute as though you really saw me.”

Yeah, yeah, you’re thinking. Nobody’s looking at one another because they’re all on their cellphones. Yawn.

But here’s the thing: Our Town was published in 1938, and this scene takes place in 1899.

Wilder was pretty ahead of his time. Our Town is a meta play — way before “meta” was cool — where the stage manager addresses the audience. It is deceptively simple, revealing profound truths about ritual, the circle of life, and the universe.

But this scene with Emily is particularly powerful. It shows us that the problem of taking life for granted and not truly seeing one another is not simply a problem caused by technology. It is a fundamental problem with humanity.

The antidote, then, would be living in the present.

But in Present Shock,?Douglas Rushkoff puts a new spin on this phrase. He writes about a different kind of present awareness, NOT “some Zen state of an infinite moment, completely at one with our surroundings, connected to others, and aware of ourselves on any fundamental level.”

Instead, this type of present is one in which we’re perpetually distracted by 24-hour news and Twitter streams in which last hour’s post is irrelevant. One in which we outpace ourselves trying to keep up with the latest trends, and “instead of finding a stable foothold in the here and now, we end up reacting to the ever-present assault of simultaneous impulses and commands.”

When “Being in the Present” is a Bad Thing

Here are some ways in which Rushkoff’s version of “living in the moment” manifests in our lives.

Shiny Object Syndrome

Injecting urgency into sales and marketing is nothing new. But the pressure to buy RIGHT NOW has been amplified by the internet. Now we don’t have to leave our house or turn on the television. These messages are in our email inboxes, social media feeds, and the sidebars of our favorite websites.

Shiny object syndrome is not limited to sales items, either. If you’re like me and still trying to crack the code on how to spread your work to more people, you’ll be aware of the infinite and ever-changing stream of tips, tricks, and hacks.

Go on Pinterest and you’ll be greeted by a barrage of articles with titles like, “Explode your traffic” and “How I got a million followers in one month.”

Yes, I’ve fallen for it, too (and continue to fall for it). We all hope we’ll find that one magic tip that will change everything.

Yet most of the time, these are either rehashed versions of the same articles we’ve read over and over or they’re just a sales pitch for the ebook we must buy to get the good stuff.

FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)

In the book, Rushkoff discusses FOMO specifically as it pertains to email and newsfeed addiction.

My inbox, in particular, has long been a source of lost productivity for me as well as anxiety. After vacations or particularly busy times in my life, I would think of all the emails I?d be missing out on (since it’d be impossible to catch up on all the unread emails).

The funny thing is, all the unread books sitting on my bookshelf don?t evoke the same urgency. But isn?t the content in these books far more enriching than that in any email?

It’s because unlike the emails, I can read the books “when I get to it.” But what if that time never comes?

Narrative Breakdown?

From Greek mythology to the Bible to Star Wars, storytelling has long been an essential part of our culture. In Rushkoff?s words, ?Experiencing the world as a series of stories helps create a sense of context. It is comforting and orienting.?

But now that newsfeeds have shifted our focus to what is happening right now, we no longer have much interest in linear stories. Additionally, the way in which we watch television has radically changed, leading to a breakdown in narrative. This is not to say that conventional dramas have completely disappeared, but reality TV and shows like Family Guy, which derive their humor from randomness, now dominate.

The Need for Instant Gratification

This goes along with the last point. We no longer have the attention span for a book or even a movie. As I said, I am grateful that my job forces me to read lots of books. Otherwise, I doubt I would.

We automatically take out our phones in line at the grocery store, at red lights, and yes, even while waiting for a website to load.

The Good News?

Of course, these changes, or “now-isms,” as Rushkoff coins them, aren’t all bad. Here are some benefits.

More control

Stories are wonderful tools for teaching lessons, but they can also be used to control and manipulate. Now we see the seams. We can still enjoy the stories on one level while also recognizing how these stories are being used to hypnotize us.

By breaking the spell the media has put on us, we can take back control.

Expand Our Career Options??

With the growth of technology and this new, fast-paced lifestyle comes a vast array of opportunities. The “work at home” dream that I hold and I’m sure many of you do, too, seems like it is literally at my fingertips.

Bringing It All Together

So what does all this have to do with Our Town and living in the present?

Well, “live in the present” is good advice but it’s also way open to interpretation. In our digital age, we’re perpetually distracted by the “now.” This leads to alienation and anxiety.

What Wilder likely wanted us to take away from his play, and what we want, is to be more connected with ourselves and with one another. To be aware — not of the latest trends, but of the divine grace all around us.

So how do we achieve these goals?

Realize your inbox/newsfeed will still be there tomorrow

Yes, it will be different emails and status updates. But what are you really missing out on? How many emails or status updates contain earth-shattering information?

If necessary, retrain your brain so that you no longer associate notifications with urgency. I signed up for Inbox When Ready, which hides the messages in your inbox until you click “inbox.” Simple, yes, but it’s amazing how this simple switch turned off the automatic nature of my habit. Now I no longer feel ANY urge to check my email.

You don’t have to be everywhere at once

Seize every moment, yes, but this does not apply to the digital world. Those of you who rely on digital marketing do not need a presence on every?social media platform. You don’t have to have hundreds of tabs perpetually open so you can record a Facebook Live video, post on Instagram, and Tweet all at once.

Also, just because you can answer emails and work on your laptop on vacation or at the beach does not mean you have to. Yes, this is still a hard one for me to accept.

Take time to go inward

Sometimes I’m my own worst enemy. That’s one reason I write these posts — to keep myself in check.

Lately I’ve become hyper-focused on promoting this blog. Everything related to my spiritual path — meditation, journaling — went out the window.

Then I made the mistake of looking at my website analytics. Let’s just say, all my efforts had barely moved the dial. I fell into a deep despair.

But if I had been focusing on the other aspects of my life that make me whole and complete, I would have recognized those numbers for what they are — meaningless metrics that have no bearing on my soul.

I went for a hike that evening and spent a few minutes meditating. I’ve always found that meditation and nature have a grounding effect on me, helping me to get still instead of constantly responding to external stimuli.

Appreciate the power of stories

As I mentioned in my review of Debbie Ford’s The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse, she divides the book into three sections: past, present, and future. Unlike most spiritual leaders, she doesn’t just tell us to “stay in the present.” She recognizes that it is our whole life trajectory that gives meaning and force to our existence.

This doesn’t mean you should stay stuck in the past, but you should take time to reflect upon and learn from the past. In the same way, our hopes and dreams for the future can propel us, giving us a reason to get out of bed every morning (eagerly, not reluctantly, hitting “snooze” multiple times as I often do).

 

For me, appreciating narrative also means reading and writing more fiction and watching more movies. There is something deeply satisfying about completing a story — even a mediocre story — that we do not get from scrolling.

Now What?

• Read Our Town and Present Shock. These books couldn’t be more different, but both offer valuable lessons. Our Town teaches us how to make the most of our time here on Earth and resist the temptation to fall into routine. You can get it below.

In Present Shock, which you can order below, Rushkoff provides a blueprint that will help us adapt to this startling new digital landscape.

• Tell me below: What does it mean to “be in the present?” What?do you do to stay grounded?